Fourth place (albeit due to Ferrari's miserable race and Mercedes' tyre shredding)! FOURTH PLACE (albeit due to Ferrari's miserable race and Mercedes' tyre shredding)!!!! Well surely that's got to be enough for the BBC and the UK press to bring Boring Paul in from the cold. So let's see what the indicator says - I can barely contain my excitement!
Paul DiResta is... STILL SCOTTISH? Damn, what's he got to do?
* Ask and you shall receive: McLaren asked Sergio Perez essentially to man up after some wimpy capitulations in the first three races. I'm pretty sure that colliding with his teammate was not what they had in mind, but you can't blame the guy for trying, nor for wondering why he's had the misfortune to wander into McLaren when they've got a dog of a car all of a sudden. Roll on the Honda engines - with Mercedes going all in with their own concern, and Force India becoming their B squad, McLaren can't get out of this one fast enough.
* We neglected to mention last week that Caterham have shame-facedly crawled back to Heikki Kovalainen, who was cast aside in favour of solidly lacklustre pay driver Giedo van der Garde before the start of the year, to appoint him as third driver. The immediate result is that they've broken the cycle of being beaten by Bianchi's Marussia; Charles Pic was the leader of the untouchables this week. We know money's tight, but any team with two deadweights might want to have a look at that, with Glock, Kobayashi and even Kubica and Trulli out there, and see if it's worth calling in a consult.
* Oh, and Vettel won by a mile. Yay! Rumours abound that his team "mate", the Canberra Milk Kid, will be off to Porsche mid-season, taking with him his ball, later to be dropped at his home. Stranger things have happened, but we'd be surprised if he went that easily; we can't see any sportscar endurance contract paying as much as a year at the Formula One Constructors' Champions. Still, never say never in this wacky, wacky sport.
And that's all the blood that's fit to drain!