22 Short Pieces About Springfield: Extra Credit 2 - Treehouse of Horror (2)

Blade-ies and blend-lemen, welcome back to GORE-RETH F. HORRORONS' look at the best of Treehouse of Horror!  Or as I call it, TERROR-house of...  Well... 

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Horror, I guess.

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*cough*

Let's get straight on with the fearsome five!

NUMBER 5: "The Day The Earth Looked Stupid"
Season 18, Episode 4
“Treehouse of Horror XVII”
First Broadcast: November 5, 2006

EERIE EVENTS: When a small town in the 1930s hears the news of an alien invasion, everybody goes APE CRAZY!!!

...But it's a hoax.  Fooled once, they resolve never to be fooled again - making them the perfect target for an actual invasion!  Can Orson Welles bring them to their senses?  And will Operation Enduring Occupation ever end?

PLOT 9 FROM OUTER SPACE: Not so much an outright plot nick this, as a reference to a real world happening.  Orson Welles' 1938 radio broadcast of "War of The Worlds", despite being presented as drama, was infamously taken seriously by some, though the scale of the panic is disputed by boring spoilsports.

(BLOOD) MAGIC MOMENT: "Now they're playing the xylophone while bowling near an airport!"

TERROR RATING: 8 deus ex machina foilings of extraterrestrial threats via the common cold out of 10.

NUMBER 4: "The Shinning"
Season 6, Episode 6
“Treehouse of Horror V”
First Broadcast: October 30, 1994

EERIE EVENTS: On leaving The Simpsons as winter caretakers at one of his properties, Mr Burns disconnects the television cable and removes all beer – but no TV and no beer make Homer SOMETHING SOMETHING!!!

Courtesy 20th Century Fox, via Frinkiac.

Their only hope is Groundskeeper Willie, summoned to their aid by Bart’s, erm, “shinn”.  Will the family escape their psychotic patriarch?  Or will Homer stop eating and stay focused long enough to seal the deal?

PLOT 9 FROM OUTER SPACE: Erm…  “The Shining”, obvs.  Every second of this is a love letter to Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 adaptation of Stephen King’s novel.

(BLOOD) MAGIC MOMENT: Quite literally.  “Hmmmm... that's odd.  Usually the blood gets off on the second floor."

TERROR RATING: Another Coke, of course.

NUMBER 3: "Time and Punishment"
Season 6, Episode 6
“Treehouse of Horror V”
First Broadcast: October 30, 1994

EERIE EVENTS: When Homer Simpson tries to repair his family’s toaster, he unwittingly falls into TIME ITSELF!!!

Our hapless hero can’t stop making crazy changes to the space-time continuum, landing him in a grotesque alternate timeline where Flanders is the ruler of all creation!  Can Homer solve the problem with extreme violence, or will he find himself forcibly re-Ned-ucated?

PLOT 9 FROM OUTER SPACE: Finally, I get to make my mother proud, after years of shaming her – I recognise this story from the science fiction short “A Sound of Thunder”, a Ray Bradbury short story from the collection "The Stars And Under".

The protagonist is sent back in time to see dinosaurs in person, but winds up straying from the path and killing an insect, which causes reality to be different when he returns to his present day.  It’s been referenced by many a time travel story, but this is a particularly precise call-out.

(BLOOD) MAGIC MOMENT: Oh, there’s a few; but an enraged Homer killing everything in his path in prehistoric times having finally snapped just pips his time in the Re-Ned-ucation Centre and him narrowly missing out on his perfect reality, where breakfast foods fall from the sky:

Courtesy 20th Century Fox, via Frinkiac.

TERROR RATING: 15 Doctors out of (a theoretical) 26.

NUMBER 2: "Citizen Kang"
Season 8, Episode 1
“Treehouse of Horror VII”
First Broadcast: October 27, 1996

EERIE EVENTS: Space aliens!  Naked conspiracies!  And the harsh reality of a two-party system!  Yes, there’s nothing more terrifying than AMERICAN POLITICS!!!

When Kang and Kodos replace Bill Clinton and Bob Dole on the eve of the 1996 election, Homer is the only witness!  Can he stop them from exchanging long protein strings, or will they move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!

PLOT 9 FROM OUTER SPACE: In all seriousness, this might be an original concept - well, body-swap horror and sci-fi isn't, but this exact application is pretty unique.  And as far I can tell there's no "Twilight Zone" episode with the same plot, so...

(BLOOD) MAGIC MOMENT: “Don’t blame me.  *I* voted for Kodos!” – bringing, as it inevitably does, no relief from the grind of eternal slavery to horrific space monsters/another Tory government (delete as satirically correct).  Either that or an enraged Ross Perot punching his hat.

TERROR RATING: 10 Kangs out of Kodos.


NUMBER 1: "The Raven"
Season 2, Episode 3
“Treehouse of Horror”
First Broadcast: October 25, 1990

EERIE EVENTS: Homer Simpson IS The Narrator!  Marge Simpson IS Lenore!  And introducing Bart Simpson as the titular Raven, in this, an adaptation of an OLD POEM!!!

Seeking distraction from the death of his beloved, our narrator is unnerved by the presence of a raven in his house.  Can he chase the sinister presence back to the Plutonian shore, or shall his soul be lifted nevermore?

PLOT 9 FROM OUTER SPACE: In stark contrast to the homages we’ve seen in the previous entries, this simply *is* the 1845 poem “The Raven” by the king of the goths, Edgar Allen Poe.

Courtesy 20th Century Fox, via Frinkiac.

Whilst he would appear in "South Park", Poe would not make a return appearance in Springfield, although his gravestone is used by Dr Nick to demonstrate Spiffy! cleaner in "Saturdays of Thunder".

(BLOOD) MAGIC MOMENT: Whilst this is a surprisingly faithful adaptation, there is one conceit to early Simpsons - the line "eat my shorts", which bizarrely has never been funnier than when presented this far out of context.

TERROR RATING: 13 copies of “Disintegration” out of 10 - a macabre masterpiece.

And that concludes our look at Treehouse of Horror!  Join us tomorrow when we'll return to our normal schedule - until then, keep watching the skis!  I mean: skies.

Everybody Up! 12 - And Party Ev-Er-Y Day

Before I start, I have to weigh in on the great debate that has rent Britain in twain over the last few weeks. 

People, good people that I know and love, on both sides of this cataclysmic divide are engaging in increasingly acidic and bitter attacks on each other just for their simple, one-word answer to a single question, leading to a fracturing of the public psyche on an unprecedented scale.

I mean it's really lucky that there isn't something going on that the Government wants to distract everyone from *cough* Tony Blair Iraq enquiry *cough*, so there's no harm done at present, but we need to heal this rift as quickly as possible, so we can continue to practice democracy and move as a force to keep our politicians honest, and remind them exactly who they work for.

And in response to those who have clamoured to hear what side of the fence I fall on - all three of you - and at risk of further stoking the fires, I say this, and only this:

Donuts are a breakfast food. 

Period.  Now let's come back together and move on, everyone.

9. KENNY "The Bump"

Tempting as it is to make a South Park joke here, we should at least try to give this song a serious, critical review, such as is deserving of all melodic works.

So, here we go with a Bay City Rollers b-side - oh, what a great start there - by a band originally called Chufff, and yes, as far a I can tell there was a third "f", who were apparently completely different to this before they were discovered by some songwriters who gifted them four hits.  And off they went, for a bit, and then they stopped.  The circle of life, there.

I find this particular offering pretty annoying.  Patterned after the dance fad of the same name, it doesn't seem to do much but extol the virtue of doing the bump, in a really patronising "look!  All the cool kids are doing it!" kind of way.  Well, I'm no conformist, so these guys can all just fade away.

By the way, you STILL haven't thanked me for linking you to The Exciters' version of "Tell Him" two posts ago.  You're fucking welcome.  That's the last time I help you out.

10. THE RUBETTES "Sugar Baby Love"

OK, I have two possible points of entry here:

1) The song "The Rubettes" by The Auteurs, which mentions this particular song in its mighty chorus, and was the first time I heard this song or band referred to.  When the song was used in an advert not long after, I was able to put two and two together and realise what I was listening to.

This makes this the second post in a row to mention a Luke Haines song.  Hello, Luke!  "British Nuclear Bunkers" was great, a real return to good form.  Could we please have an album of actual songs next time, though?  With no overarching concept or plot?  Cheers, mate!  Much appreciated.

2) In Yoyogi Park in Tokyo, near the fashionable Harajuku district, the rockabilly gangs gather each Sunday, be-quiffed and clad in black leather, dancing round their record players and trying to out-rocker each other.

When I was privileged to witness this unique culture collision, likely inspired by the American occupation of the country post-WWII, one of the gangs played this song.  I hope they were doing so ironically as the diabetes-inducing bubblegum pop really, really didn't fit with the image.

Which would you prefer?

11. FOX "Only You Can"

Now these are a band I've been interested in since I saw them on classic Top Of The Pops on BBC4 a few years ago; in fact if memory serves, they opened the first episode that was repeated on what was then Top Of The Pops 1976, with their then-top twenty hit "S-S-Single Bed", which was quite the earworm.

(As with all these things, memory might not actually serve and I could be totally wrong.)

Based on that, and this, they probably could have done better, with an innate instinct for a tune and  the never less than coquettish Noosha Fox out front, but...  Well, a number five hit isn't something to be sniffed at I suppose.  At least it was back then, anyway.  So...  Yay? 

You be the judge.  Frankly I'm still pissed too off about that Exciters affair to spoonfeed you.

12. KISS "Rock And Roll All Nite"

Alright, now we're talking!  Here's one of a handful of acts on here that I saw on the tracklist and went, "is this really glam?  I mean the outfits, for sure, but really, musically?"  And came out of it going, "Yes.  Yes, this works.  This is glam."

Plus: it's Kiss!  The world-famous spectacle from Detroit, Michigan!  The face-painted, bleeding, fire-breathing masters of bombastic stadium rock and splitting up a bit and replacing members, because they're just characters!  And, oh the characters: the terrifying Demon!  The cosmic Starchild!  The also-cosmic Spaceman!  And The Catman, who chases little balls of silver paper around the floor!

(There are two others but no-one really cares about The Fox and Ankh Wizard...  Ankh Man Egyptian...  Wizard Something...  Dude?)

Seriously, if you can't be moved by weapons-grade rock 'n' roll like this, you are dead, man.  Dead.  Even though I probably only get to properly party down ev-er-y couple of weeks in these twilight years, this is still a mandatory part of said soundtrack when the time comes around.

And now it's time for Battlestar Galactica Forum...  Where's me Cylon helmet?

Join us next time for a glass of champay-yin, why Joan Jett screaming like a harpy is the smartest move in rock 'n' roll and a Suede single from 1996.  Oh, I should be so lucky...  Wait, that was someone else.