Engine Blood: German GP

* Welcome back to the column that's controversial, so stinging, such a thorn in the side of the established motorsport press that it now has to operate on a court-mandated one week delay, which explains plausibly why this is a week late going up and that's definitely why, so there, ENGINE BLOOD!

* FLAG REVIEW

 

One of the classics here, and we like the bold use of black, an underrated and under-used hue in the banners business.  Of course the really interesting thing about the flag, and this is utterly fascinating, is tha...

 

-------------------------URGENT PAUL DI RESTA UPDATE------------------------------

 

We interrupt this magnificently memorable story with the news that there has been a change in Paul Di Resta's nationality!

 

Yes, after an unassuming eleventh place characterised only by his usual combination of childish petulance and generation of all-encompassing ennui, his mood may have been brightened to hear that he has officially, if indirectly, been taken the heart of the larger UK populace.  For it has come to pass that:

 

Paul Di Resta is BRITISH, as all Scotsmen are now temporarily British to allow the whole country to benefit from Andy Murray's Wimbledon win, during which he played exactly one good player.

 

A quite extraordinary situation developing here, we're sure you'll agree.  We now return you to this quite excellent and never to be repeated anecdote, already in progress.

 

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...ere we get the phrase "Sleeping Policeman" from!

 

* Vettel finally won on home soil, and despite the late pitstops adding some intrigue to proceedings there wasn't much doubt about the result.  A Mercedes pole on a track that allows overtaking has increasingly been shown to spell victory for someone else, with the Silver Arrows having an embarrassingly bad race pace for a front running team at present.

 

Elsewhere, Williams' sizable woes continue as the team failed to take any points in their 600th race.  And Massa - that guy just can't catch a break.  It was a bad day to be an onlooker as well, as a brave journo got absolutely flattened by an errant wheel from Mark Webber, who has obviously had his Dick Dastardly weaponry from Bahrain 2010 reinstalled.  "Drat, and double drat!  I was aiming for Seb", is a quote our lawyers advise us we should not in any attribute to Mr Webber.

 

* It's little while until the next race, but in the meantime we have the "Young Driver" test at Silverstone.  The quote marks should show that something's up, and indeed it is, for this year it is a misnomer - with Raikkonen being the first name announced (the real one, not a son or nephew), it's become clear that the tyre situation has persuaded the FIA to allow an experienced driver for each team to take part.

 

This has raised the ire of Mercedes, who have been banned from the test as a fall-out from the infinitely boring and inadequately reported "Tyregate" scandal of a couple of months ago.  To which the only logical answer is: shouldn't have cheated, then.

 

And THAT's all the blood that's fit to drain!