Engine Blood: European GP Hi-Jinks

* In the immortal words of Krusty the Clown:

Courtesy 20th Century Fox, via Frinkiac.

* Engine Blood were on a train back from York at the time of the race, so we're largely going on hearsay, especially when it comes to blame apportioning. 

What we can say with no doubt though is that this has the makings of a classic season - and we may finally be seeing three teams in genuine title contention...

* ...If Red Bull can stop their drivers from fighting, that is.  It's easy to put the blame squarely on Verstappen, as he is a foetus and has had a terrible last, ooh, forty or so races in terms of hot-headed shuntiness, but all sources seem to think this was a 50-50 affair.

* Lewis Hamilton has, to his credit, been less than his usual level of smug about a victory that he seems to acknowledge was lucky as all get-out.  So, to *our* credit, we will state that you had to be in it to win it, and Lewis was there at the end; it was Vettel's race to throw away, then Bottas' to lose, and both did.

You really have to feel for Valtteri in particular, though; he did easily enough to merit the race win, and he really could have used the confidence boost as he looks forward to re-joining Williams next season.  Vettel’s move was apparently a no-win one, but we have to give him points for trying; it’s exactly the kinds of gutsy driving that British observers don’t believe he has in him.

* Speaking of which: the world's least deserving Formula One driver, noted daddy-cash recipient Lance Stroll, finished eighth for the cash- and integrity-strapped team, meaning all the teams on the grid have now scored some points.

However he was completely overshadowed by Charles Leclerc's performance to bring his Sauber-Alfa-Whatever home sixth.  We may have just seen the flowering of a future champion...  Or a fluke finish from the new Martin Brundle.  Only time, and a seat with Ligier, will tell.

* Just to highlight the level of unpredictability this year, the battle for best of the rest is hotting up in very unexpected ways.

McLaren have shown - shock horror! - consistency, whilst Force India's third for Sergio Perez suddenly kicks them back into contention.  Haas are solid but keep throwing points away (seriously, Romain - there's a reason they call it a "Safety Car"), and Hulkenberg was Renault's only missing link this time out, a heroic recovery drive being thwarted by a wall.

* Azerbaijan, though.  Azerbaijan, for heavens' sake.

A circuit that has clearly tried to be Monaco 2: Judgement Day, but has wound up as Monaco 2: Electric Boogaloo.  Most of the race's excitement was caused by Safety Cars - and frankly, wouldn't we all love one where the excitement was caused by high-speed overtaking?  Just a thought...

Engine Blood would like to apologise for forgetting to do something about the Chinese Grand Prix.  By way of apology, please enjoy this picture of a weasel:

Engine Blood: Bahrain GP update

* Random thought from research: was the Arab Spring really seven years ago?

* So this was a little bit more interesting!  Vettel and Ferrari's superior tyre management eventually won the day, in a theoretically impossible set of circumstances.  We must of course also make mention of Francesco Cigorini - for it is he who had his leg broken in two places by Raikkonen's unsafe release.  Get well soon, man.  On the minus side, Hamilton's pace from lower on the grid shows that we're in a clear two horse race...

* ...Or does it?  Both Red Bulls were out of the race within five laps of the start, but one with accident damage (Verstappen, of course; he looks every second of nineteen years old at the minute with his shuntiness and petulance) and one with what looked like a software glitch.  They remain the X-factor at present; if they're good they could be right in the mix, but every race that goes by without solid points puts that in doubt;

* We must mention Pierre Gastly and Toro Rosso-Honda's stunning fourth place, though.  This didn't look to be a fluke - great qualifying lap, uneventful but competent race, solid reliability, and Brendon Hartley in the sister car wasn't too far off the mark either, and probably would have scored minor points if not for early penalties.  Good job all round, and a penny for Fernando Alonso's thoughts on a fast, reliable, Honda-engine car;

* Williams, Williams, Williams.  What a shambles.  With Marcus Ericsson celebrating his fiftieth race out of the points by, er, finishing in the points in his Sauber-Alfa-Ferrari-whatever, they are dead last.  This is what you get for having two pay drivers.

* And finally, an off the track round-up: noted cockwomble Lewis Hamilton said he didn't feel like he lost the race in Australia.  Lewis: you look like you did...

"The Heartbreaker" Lance Stroll has stopped listening to ex-world champion and fellow Canadian Jacques Villeneuve.  He was quoted as saying: "he's not my guy, buddy".  Also, if we were him we'd be taking all the advice we possibly could, as he is pound-for-pound the worst driver in Formula One...  

And Kevin Magnusson has asked F1's owners, Liberty Media, to ignore advice from the drivers on how to make the sport better, as he believes they do not care about making the show better.  Unfortunately since he is a driver himself, Liberty Media are ignoring his advice.

And THAT'S all the blood that's fit to spill!

Engine Blood weekly round-up, 26 March 2018

* AUSTRALIAN GP SPECIAL!!!

Yes, after testing told us absolutely nothing, now a race has told us absolutely nothing, with Seb nicking a win due to strategy.  Hamilton didn't seem to get too far away from the pack, but it'll be impossible to tell where we are for the next few races.  Still: at least we've already had one unpredictable result, which is basically one more than last year;

* A Darwin Award for Haas, who have maybe three races to capitalise on being the best midfield team before McLaren and Renault catch up, but instead somehow managed to not secure the wheels to their then-fourth and fifth placed cars - beating bloody Red Bull at that stage! - which in turn caused the safety car periods that gave Vettel the win;

* Other than that, business as usual.  Williams were shameful, but of course they would be, their drivers are foetuses; a Honda engine self-destructed, and for once Alonso wasn't on the receiving end; and Carlos Sainz had a whinge for no apparent reason;

* Valtteri Bottas, we hardly knew ye?  His contract is up at the end of the year, and with Ricciardo, Ocon and Wehrlein waiting in the wings, Toto may already be handing him his coat and saying "so you'll be off, then."  We're sure Williams would happily have him back;

* And finally, off the track: noted cockwomble Lewis Hamilton recently railed against the lack of diversity in Formula One.  And you know what - he's got a bit of a point.  He is currently the only non-Caucasian Formula One driver.

We'd argue that this isn't necessarily a problem with the sport, though it is definitely a problem for the sport.  It's more of a socio-economic problem; less black and West Asian families have the kind of disposable money necessary to be able to indulge their children in karting and other low-level motorsports, giving them no chance of being able to be spotted by sponsors or young driver programmes, meaning Lewis' own path to the sport is a pipe dream for almost everyone.

What they could really do with is a benefactor - someone who is earning an obscene amount of money, who instead of spending it on, say, recording albums that will never be heard in state-of-the-art recording facilities, or appeasing regimes that have terrible human rights records, or employing a phalanx of social network experts that still can't save him from shitting the bed with a transphobic tweet, could instead sponsor and mentor children that would otherwise not have the chance through those key early stages of their career.

But where would they find one of them, eh?

And THAT'S all the blood that's fit to spill!  Great to be back, America!

Engine Blood Ranks The 2018 Contenders: 10. Stupid Mercedes. So stupid.

HISTORY: Three histories here, really - the classic Silver Arrows years that partially pre-date Formula One itself, engine supplier to first Sauber, then McLaren, and finally buying the then-world champions Brawn to turn into their own team.

Brawn, you say?  Formerly Honda, formerly BAR, formerly Tyrrell.  When Honda used the 2008 financial crash to jettison their F1 team (along with BMW and Toyota), Ross Brawn carried the team on, invented the double diffuser and took the team from last the previous year to first in 2009.

Mercedes' stint from 2010 was patchy, despite the return of Michael Schumacher, before bursting to life when they hit the ground running with the controversial new technical specs in 2014.  Quite frankly, they have dominated ever since.

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT:

From BBC Sport.

Doesn't look too different to last year's winning affair, except for some pointy detailing on the rear wing that is also carried by Ferrari, Red Bull and Sauber.  If it works, expect all the other teams to be rocking them by Azerbaijan.

THE DRIVERS:

44. Lewis HAMILTON (GB)
77. Valtteri BOTTAS (FIN)

Where do we start with Lewis?  Equally fast and frustrating, scintillating and smug, rapid and repugnant, pacey and punchable.  He doesn't like it up 'im, and he'll fall to bits if threatened by someone in an equal machine, especially a teammate, but when the muse moves him and he's in the best car, he's off into the distance.

Between his posturing, his social media idiocy (don't mention the transphobia!), his R 'n' B album, his playing of the race card and his constant references to Ayrton Senna, he is the Hollywood Hogan of F1 - dominant, devious and unshakeable in his belief that he's bigger than the sport.  We'll never say he's not good.  Just that we really, really don't like him.

Bottas, on the other hand...  He's Rubens Barrichello, version 3.  After Hamilton's dummy hit the floor when Rosberg smartly pipped him to the 2016 title, then (in a spectacularly smug move) retired from Formula One to avoid getting soundly decked by Hamilton and Vettel the next year, Bottas moved to Mercedes from Williams.

His job is to come second, unless Hamilton is out.  That seems very unambitious for a Finnish driver, and atypical of the usual "all or nothing" mindset of his countrymen in motorsport.

LAST YEAR: 1st in Constructors' Championship, 668 points.

44. Lewis HAMILTON (GB) - 1st, 363 points, best finish: 1st (China, Spain, Canada, Britain, Belgium, Italy, Singapore, Japan, America).
77. Valtteri BOTTAS (FIN) - 3rd, 205 points, best finish: 1st (Russia, Austria, Abu Dhabi).

Hamilton's fourth world title was based on an extremely good run just after the halfway point of the season, at the Asian circuits that many (rightly) believed would better suit Ferrari, and at which Ferrari had a terrible run of luck and accidents.

Still, you've got to be in it to win it, and in it he most certainly was, especially after an early-season wobble when he thought Bottas might be another title contender; something that, in hindsight, he really, really wasn't.  Any hope of extending his Mercedes career must be based on a real year of contendership this year - or Ricciardo would seem to be nailed on for the seat.

PROSPECTS: Aw man, they're going to win again, aren't they?  Unless Hamilton literally CAN'T win by mid-season, and decides to retire from the sport (which, to be fair, is a possibility - if he's not 100% involved, he's 0% involved), and Bottas out-Raikkonens Raikkonen as a wingman, they've got to be the odds-on favourites.

Engine Blood Ranks The 2018 Contenders: 9. Best boys

HISTORY: The only team on the grid that can draw a legitimate line all the way back to the genesis of the Formula One World Championship way back in 1950, Scuderia Ferrari hold every conceivable record worth having - most wins by constructor, most constructors' and drivers' championships, most consecutive championships - and every single successful driver in Formula One either drove for, or wishes he drove for, the red team.

In short: these are the daddies of F1.

And the greatest Ferrari driver of them all?  Some say Alberto Ascari or Gilles Villeneuve, both gone before their prime.  Some say Nigel Mansell - those people are invariably British, and very, very wrong.  For it was the legendary Michael Schumacher, the greatest ever to drive in anger; five of his record seven world championships came during a crushing reign with Ferrari from 2000 to 2004, when all was swept before them.

And since then?  A fallow period.  Worse came in the eighties and nineties though, and with a combination of pedigree, budget, two of the very best drivers in the game and the bit between their teeth, no-one is ever willing to count them out.

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT:

From Ferrari, accessed via BBC Sport.

Other than looking a bit like a Ferrari-branded flip flop (cheers, Rich) thanks to the halo, this is a good-looking piece of machinery - and less white than recent years, which pleases us.  Ferrari should always be as red as possible, sponsorship aside.

THE DRIVERS:

5. Sebastian VETTEL (GER)
7. Kimi RAIKKONEN (FIN)

After a stellar start in the Red Bull young driver programme that saw him win a race in a Toro Rosso, Vettel was always likely to take a WDC at some stage.  I don't think anyone was expecting four in a row, including two tricky down-to-the-wire jobs in 2010 and 2012.

His shuntiness (definitely a word) as a youngster was undeniable, but as he's matured, he's largely silenced the doubts of all but the very nay-est of naysayers, showing he can race, overtake, (largely) keep his cool under pressure - well, he's better at that than Hamilton and Verstappen, anyway - and you'd have to think his marriage to Ferrari will push him up to Fangio's long-standing record.  Mind you, we said that about Alonso...

Surely this is Kimi Raikkonen's last year.  The two get on very well, for all Kimi's bluster he's quite happy to play rear gunner at this stage, and Ferrari will be keen for Vettel to get a title under his belt before any driver upheaval, but he's simply not delivered to the extent that you'd expect either a former world champion, or a younger, hungrier driver to reach.

Who next, though?  Verstappen is much fancied, but we think he'll stay at Red Bull. It's too early for Leclerc, sight unseen.  Could we see them revive their interest in Hulkenberg or Perez?  These are questions for the silly season, around August time.

LAST YEAR: 2nd in Constructors' Championship, 522 points.

5. Sebastian VETTEL (GER) - 2nd, 317 points, best finish: 1st (Australia, Bahrain, Monaco, Hungary, Brazil).
7. Kimi RAIKKONEN (FIN) - 4th, 205 points, best finish: 2nd.

Looking at the gap, you wouldn't believe these guys were in with a shot at both titles until past the halfway point of the season, but that's F1 for you.  Could a more motivated second driver have taken more points from Mercedes, particularly a shaky Bottas?  That's one for speculation only.

PROSPECTS: You never want to count them out, but a combination of Red Bull snapping at their heels, Raikkonen running out of steam and the post-Schumacher requisite multiple changes in operational staff could make this a muddled campaign.  Still favourites for second at least.

Engine Blood Ranks The 2018 Contenders: 8. Lucozade and yes we do make that joke every time

HISTORY: Originally an attempt to weld a mediocre energy drink to high-performance thrillseeking, Red Bull started as a motorsports sponsor (including of Sauber in Formula One) before branching out into team management, snapping up the ailing Jaguar team from a grateful Ford.

Several years of mediocrity with David Coulthard followed, before they nicked two key assets from feeder team Toro Rosso: Renault engines and a young up and comer called Sebastian Vettel.  Roll on four consecutive World Drivers' Championships in the first half of this decade.

It's not like they've been bad since - solid top three basically every year - but the rule changes for 2014 caught them trouser-free, and Vettel would soon be off to Ferrari.  Cue several years of whingeing about their underpowered Renault engine whilst making phenomenal cars from an aerodynamics perspective, helped by their master designer Adrian Newey.

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT:

From BBC Sport.

I mean, it's alright like, but their "special edition" livery that was axed even before testing was really cool and progressive, and they clearly should have gone with it.  In fact, here it is, so you can be the judge:

From Racefans.net.

See?  Much better.

Bellends.

THE DRIVERS:

3. Daniel RICCIARDO (AUS)
33. Max VERSTAPPEN (NED)

Australia's sweetheart, and a damn sight more personable than Mark "The Canberra Milk Kid" Webber, Ricciardo is the eternal neutral's choice.  Whether drinking a "shoey" on the podium or climbing forlornly from his car after one of his regular mechanical failures last year, it must be remembered that he looks a bit like an Easter Island head, and that's alright with us, since it's good for a cheap laugh.

Meanwhile, Verstappenmania is running wild, brother...  These writers remember being at Spa-Francorchamps back when Max was in Toro Rosso and beholding a sea of orange.  Surely a return for the Dutch Grand Prix can't be far in the future, as they're burning money until that day comes again.

With Ricciardo looking set to depart for McLaren at the end of the year, Verstappen will have the chance to carry the team on his shoulders, probably with Gasly or Hartley as his teammate - this year will be make or break in terms of him building the maturity to show he is capable of more than occasional fast laps, shunts and temper tantrums.

LAST YEAR: 3rd in Constructors' Championship, 368 points.

3. Daniel RICCIARDO (AUS) - 5th, 200 points, best finish: 1st (Azerbaijan).
33. Max VERSTAPPEN (NED) - 6th, 168 points, best finish: 1st (Malaysia, Mexico).

See, there's all the proof of Verstappen's youth you need right there - wins more races, still finishes behind his teammate in the championship.

The Red Bull was hardly bulletproof last year, and would probably have stacked up better against Ferrari had the Renault engine had a tad more poke, and they certainly caught up by the halfway point, becoming spoilers in the title fight - quite literally when Verstappen cost Vettel a near-certain victory at Singapore with a naive move off the grid.

PROSPECTS: This one's all about the engine.  It's amazing that a team can stay a solid third in the title hunt and snipe race wins from Mercedes and Ferrari with a phenomenal but underpowered car, and if Renault deliver, all bets are off.

Driver motivation will also be key, with a whining brat and a want-away being a difficult portfolio to manage - but look for their complaints to suddenly dry up if Renault deliver.

Engine Blood Ranks The 2018 Contenders: 7. Name pending

HISTORY: Rising from the ashes of plucky underdogs Jordan, via Spyker and Midland, Force India were absolute rubbish for the first year of their existence, but have since built up into a midfield dynamo that never really threatens the upper echelons, but have more than enough to keep getting by.

Bizarrely, Force India have decided in recent years to tone down the whole "India" side of things...  Yes, us neither...  So a name change is expected imminently, and perhaps even before the start of the season.  They've cited problems attracting sponsors as the main driver of said activity.

Last year, they changed their livery to bright pink at the last minute and finished high up the order, yet somehow flew under the radar without a single podium finish to their name, and were more famed for several on-track clashes between their very fighty drivers - not what any team wants to see.  Still, at least they got rid of one or both of them during the off season, eh?

...Ah.  Oh dear.

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT:

From Getty Images, accessed via BBC Sport.

Main sponsors BWT are behind the shift from Force India's traditional orange, green and white, and sometimes black, to pink and white.  So WHAT BAR are they?*

Well Jay, Force India (or whatever they decide to call themselves) are:

- Pink 'N' Whites wafers;
- Barr's American Cream Soda;
- Haribo Charmallows;
- Walkers Prawn Cocktail crisps;
- And a bonus WHAT BEER: Brewdog's ill-conceived Pink IPA!

THANKS FOR PLAYING!!!

THE DRIVERS:

11. Sergio PEREZ (MEX)
31. Esteban OCON (FRA)

Perez is the Icarus of Formula One; he flew too high too fast, and has plummeted since.  Nailed on for a Ferrari drive down the road after a great couple of seasons for Sauber, he jumped into McLaren instead as a replacement for Hamilton in a season where McLaren had a dip in form.

And what have we repeatedly learned about what McLaren do when that happens?  Replaced by Magnusson (who'd suffer the same fate), he used Mercedes connections to get in at Force India, where he rebuilt his reputation nicely - until last year.

For that was the year Esteban Ocon appeared and decided to take the old advice about first having to beat your teammate very literally, leading to a series of embarrassing on-track incidents between the two.  Ocon looks to be the real deal, or something very close to it, and with Perez in danger of looking washed up at a shockingly young age  (another sad trope we've been quoting this year), sparks will no doubt continue to fly.

LAST YEAR: 4th in Constructors' Championship, 187 points.

11. Sergio PEREZ (MEX) - 7th, 100 points, best finish: 4th.
31. Esteban OCON (FRA) - 8th, 87 points, best finish: 5th.

Despite said sparks, the team finished an impressive fourth by over 100 points from Williams last year, albeit with the dearth of podiums noted above.  It could all have been so much more impressive though, as both drivers could easily have challenged for the win in Azerbaijan had they not - you guessed it - collided and ruined each others' race.

PROSPECTS: Testing looks a bit spotty and they've got two drivers who grind each others' gears...  This could be anywhere from a funny disaster, to a sad disaster, to a disappointing mid-table finish.  We'll stick our necks out though and say that with Haas, McLaren and possibly Toro Rosso in the ascendancy, they won't hit the giddy highs of last year.

(* = thanks in advance to OSW Review for not suing us over this affectionate homage)

Engine Blood Ranks The 2018 Contenders: 6. Once-proud garagistas scrambling for coins

HISTORY: Founded by Frank Williams, we have the last of the garagistas right here - a team purely for racing, without major manufacturer links or a road car division, and for that at least they should be saluted.

They've had a ton of success over the years, from early title wins with Alan Jones and Keke Rosberg, to a superb 1986-87 relationship with Honda that brought Piquet his third title, and the essentially self-driving model that brought huge  success for Mansell and Prost in the early nineties.  Sadly the stripping of gadgets hurt them more than most, and the death of Ayrton Senna in a Williams in 1994 really hit the team hard.

They've been there or thereabouts more often than not since, a flirtation with Toyota engines aside, but are a fair way removed from their last win (with Pastor Maldonado - remember that jerk?) and could do with a bit of a boost.  Let's hope they haven't hired any shit young pay drivers, eh?

...Ah.  Oh dear.

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT:

From Press Association, accessed via BBC Sport.

The Williams Martini Racing livery is classy, nostalgic, iconic, clean, and aspirational, and these writers have often considered jumping in for some merch after a few on-track "refreshments".  If it wasn't for their awful, awful driver choices, this might have been the year we shelled out £80 for a shirt.

THE DRIVERS:

18. Lance STROLL (CAN)
35. Sergey SIROTKIN (RUS)

What.  The.  Actual.  Fuck.

"The Heartbreaker" Lance Stroll (as he was dubbed during the overwrought theatrics of the US Grand Prix pre-show) is an undeserving pay driver who somehow eked out a podium in his first season last year - as did Nelson Piquet Jnr, lest we forget - during the engine bloodbath that was Azerbaijan.  His daddy enlivens Williams' bank account to the reported tune of £20m per season, so we all know why he's there, and it's an absolute disgrace.

Sirotkin is a multiple-time F1 nearly man, including a stint as Sauber's third driver, during which everyone complained he was too young and green to do the job.  Frankly he's still too young and green to do the job, even in comparison to his child of a teammate.  Again though, money talks - and both drivers do at least have some, shall we say, "motivation" in the form of a highly-focused Robert Kubica as third driver, hoping for a fairytale comeback from a rally accident that left him with a severed hand.

LAST YEAR: 5th in Constructors' Championship, 83 points.

19. Felipe MASSA (BRZ) - 11th, 43 points, best finish: 6th.
18. Lance STROLL (CAN) - 12th, 40 points, best finish: 3rd.
40. Paul DI RESTA (GB) - Not classified.

So goodbye again, Felipe, and thanks for the memories, again.  So nearly the 2008 world champion, a man that went toe-to-toe with the top names of his generation and came out on top a surprising amount of times, and a man who (ahem) was technically already retired, but got pressed back into service when Bottas left for Mercedes unexpectedly.

Massa being ill also brought another returnee - Paul Di Resta, perhas F1's most boring talker.  Luckily his stay has not been extended or every pre-race interview section would be rendered snooze-worthy.  In the meantime, Stroll lucked into the only podium of the whole year that wasn't taken by Mercedes, Ferrari or Red Bull in a rare race of attrition.

PROSPECTS: We want Williams to do well, for nostalgia if nothing else - but let's be clear here, for that driver line-up alone they deserve to fail, though it's admittedly sad that a great old team with a good title sponsor needs to stoop this low for finance.

Unless we see a mid-season substitution that brings in Kubica, Kyvat or even Di Resta, they will either be moribund or intensely annoying.

Engine Blood Ranks The 2018 Contenders: 5. Currently Renault

HISTORY: Ah, the Enstone Team!  Right, strap in, there's a lot to cover here: starting out in 1981 as Toleman, they were eventually rebranded as Benetton, with the fashion chain getting a taste for racing through their prior sponsorship of Tyrrell and Alfa Romeo.

Having won two titles with Michael Schumacher in 1994 and 1995, a fallow decade followed, before Renault bought the team out and two more titles followed for Alonso.  Renault eventually sold the team to Genii Capital, who acquired the Lotus name for the princely sum of a bag of balloons and a pencil - but once the global financial whoopsie was a distant memory, Renault came knocking again, and here we are.

When you consider the changes this team has been through, and all the legendary drivers they've had through the door - Schumacher, Senna, Piquet, Alonso, Button, Raikkonen, Berger, Patrese and Boutsen, to name but a few - your head spins.  They've made lemonade from lemons more times than is strictly plausible, and are always potentially a couple of years away from another title run.

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT:

From Press Association, accessed via BBC Sport.

Oh man, that's a cool colour scheme - especially after a couple of years of pure banana yellow, which to be completely fair, is actually Renault's traditional racing colour.

They have counselled, however, that this is a livery for testing, and the race version may be different.  We say they'd be chumps to change from this aggressive look, but time will tell.

THE DRIVERS:

27. Nico HULKENBERG (GER)
55. Carlos SAINZ (ESP)

Nico is a nearly man for many top drives, being at various stages on Mercedes and Ferrari's radars, and has bounced around the midfield, arguably outperfoming the car everywhere he goes - Williams, Sauber and Force India.

A journeyman racer at the highest level, which you don't really get these days, one unfortunately has to think that barring a rash of unexpected retirements (Hamilton and Raikkonen being most likely), sticking with the Renault works team and hoping they come into the ascendency is about his best chance at some long-overdue glory.

Carlos Sainz is overrated, in these writers' humble opinions.  We've seen them come and we've seen them go, and this fellow has all the hallmarks of mediocrity - petulance, midfield results, habitually outperformed by (non-Kyvat) teammates, famous dad.  We may stand corrected eventually, and joining Renault mid-season was certainly a smart career move for him, coming out of a crowded Red Bull driver programme.  As for who he replaced...

LAST YEAR: 6th in Constructors' Championship, 57 points.

27. Nico HULKENBERG (GER) - 10th, 43 points, best finish: 6th.
55. Carlos SAINZ (ESP) - 9th, 54 points, best finish: 4th (best finish for Renault: 7th).
30. Jolyon PALMER (GB) - 17th, 5 points, best finish: 8th.

...Christ, Jolyon Palmer was rubbish, wasn't he?  Really not Formula One material - petulance, midfield results, habitually outperformed by teammates, famous dad... Hang on a minute...

That he could be replaced by a talent as common-or-garden as Sainz mid-season and immediately be eclipsed is testament to the failure of his career.  I'm guessing he won't be back or missed.  Other than that it was a season for occasional Hulkenberg heroics - story of the latter's career so far, really.

Eyebrows were raised when Renault-powered Toro Rosso suddenly went backwards and were pipped for sixth in the championship by the works team, but we're "sure" "nothing" "untoward" happened there.

PROSPECTS: Could look a bit stupid if outpaced by McLaren on the same engine - mind you, Red Bull are well ahead of them so perhaps not.  If reliability remains metronomic, they could easily be looking at sixth, and use that as a jumping-off point for future development.

Given their history, Renault will not want to be away from the sharp end for long, and the sport benefits from their participation - so let's hope they at least get what they want.

Engine Blood Ranks The 2018 Contenders: 4. Red Bull Babies

HISTORY: Would you believe these guys used to be Minardi, the plucky underdogs of F1, kept alive long past the toll of their bell by Australian money-pit Paul Stoddart and, rumour has it, some hush-hush payments from Bernie Ecclestone, desperate to keep at least 20 cars on the grid in the wake of Prost and Arrows' collapses.

Bought out by Red Bull and used as a young driver feeder team, plus the recipients of their cast-off engine contracts, their highlight came when Sebastian Vettel took the team's first and only win, and was promptly snapped up by Red Bull to the surprise of absolutely nobody.  A frustrating few years have followed, with their best drivers getting plucked from them on a regular basis (Vettel, Ricciardo, Verstappen, not Sainz who isn't as good as he thinks he is), making consolidation difficult.

An interesting move has occurred, though - Toro Rosso have Honda engines this season, after the Japanese outfit endured three horrendous years with McLaren.  McLaren couldn't wait to get rid of the power units that not even Sauber wanted, but testing has shown promise, and the F1 world awaits this team's next moves with no little anticipation.

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT:

From Toro Rosso, accessed via BBC Sport.

We do love how the bright electric blue and the red detailing allows these to be picked out more easily from the Red Bulls, with their admittedly cooler flat matt midnight blue.  Makes a change from seasons past when you couldn't tell them apart.

Not much about it is telling us this is Honda-powered, though.  One wonders whether that will change as time goes on, or whether they're being deliberately kept off the branding in case that engine contract mysteriously gets swapped to Red Bull...

THE DRIVERS:

10. Pierre GASLY (FRA)

28. Brendon HARTLEY (NZ)

All change (sort of - see below) for Toro Rosso this year, as they welcome in two guys who had a rocky road to F1 and that we're happy to welcome into the fold - and one of whom might be hitting the big leagues early if Ricciardo goes to Mercedes at the end of the season...

Gasly had the more traditional route, up through the lower formulae, including a single race weekend in Formula E and winning the 2016 GP2 series.  He also came second in the Super Formula championship last year whilst balancing that with being Red Bull's test driver and a few F1 races for Toro Rosso.  We can only hope he evolves into Haunter and then Gengar in short order.  #pokemonfunnies

One would have thought Hartley would have missed out of F1 altogether, as he had been so close previously with no cigar.  A Le Mans winner and two-time World Endurance Champion, which is traditionally what you do AFTER F1, he'd been dropped by Red Bull back in 2010 in favour of Jean-Eric Vergne, who did eventually get a Toro Rosso drive but now dwells in Formula E, where he is winning because of course he would, he's a Formula One driver.

Hartley kept his hand in with simulator runs and young driver tests for Mercedes, and when Gasly had Super Formula commitments on the US Grand Prix weekend last year, Hartley was the surprise call-up.  It's always nice to see a driver take a less traditional route to the big time, so here's hoping he can live up to his early promise.

LAST YEAR: 7th in Constructors' Championship, 53 points.

55. Carlos SAINZ (ESP) - 9th, 54 points, best finish: 4th.

26. Daniil KYVAT (RUS) - 19th, 5 points, best finish: 9th.

10. Pierre GASLY (FRA) - 21st, 0 points, best finish: 12th.

28. Brendon HARTLEY (NZ) - 23rd, 0 points, best finish: 13th.

Apparently Red Bull want to own all the drvers in the world...  EXCEPT Daniil Kyvat.  A Russian Grand Prix demanded a Russian driver, and Kyvat was impressive enough in his first season with Red Bull, beating highly-rated team mate Ricciardo.  A shunty start to his second season and he was replaced with the foetal Max Verstappen, which shows how ridiculously youth-focused this sport is becoming.  We will miss him, even if the team won't.

Sainz then went to Renault after an eye-catching 4th in Singapore, though we're not sure he merits a works drive.  It was something to do with the engine swap with McLaren, which shines a spotlight on the political intrigue going on behind the scenes.  By that time Toro Rosso had been outdeveloped - a common problem for this lot - and Gasly and Hartley had a largely uneventful time waiting for 2018.

PROSPECTS: They're damned if they do and damned if they don't: do well, and the Honda contract goes to Red Bull, leaving Toro Rosso to rebuild around a Renault or Ferrari engine, and quite probably without whichever of their drivers impresses the most.  Don't do well, and they're stuck with a potentially troublesome engine, possibly still playing the driver merry-go-round.  It's fair to say we don't envy their position, but it'll be fascinating to watch.