Engine Blood's Guide To 2014: Scuderia Ferrari

IN SHORT: You what?  It's bloody Ferrari, you loon.  If you've never heard of them we really can't help you.

HISTORY: Breaking records and taking names since the very start of the World Drivers' Championship all the way back in 1950, the eternally red Italian team are the most successful team in the history of the sport.  They sent Maserati packing, survived the British invasion of BRM and Tyrrell, waved bye-bye to Brabham and the original Lotus team and outlived the successes of Williams and (at the moment) McLaren.

Red Bull have done nothing to suggest they won't be just another victim, but Ferrari themselves have suffered some slings and arrows recently; they've not consistently challenged for the title since Michael Schumacher's half-decade of domination, and haven't taken one since 2007.  Failure is tolerated even less at the Scuderia than at McLaren, so the pressure is on to get their hands on the big prize soon.

THE LOOK:

Source: BBC Sport
 

OK; so far, so not nearly as bad as the Lotus.  Ferrari have a pretty unique take on the design limitations, with this suddenly-flattening affair.  From the front, it could be a normal looking Formula One car - and that's about the biggest compliment we can pay a car this year.

ENGINE: Ferrari.  Duh.

DRIVERS:

7. Kimi RAIKKONEN (FIN) - Last year: 5th (183 points, 1 win - Australia)

14. Fernando ALONSO (SPA) - Last year: 2nd (242 points, 2 wins - China and Spain)

We cannot even begin to imagine what idiot thought this would be a good pairing of drivers.  Raikkonen may be Ferrari's last world champion, but his refusal to compromise his lap-dancin', shit-takin', public-relations-events-no-showin' lifestyle made relations increasingly difficult.  The team will hope he's fully healed from his recent back operation; Kimi will just be hoping this team will pay him.

Which leaves Alonso.  Still eating out on beating Schumacher in 2005 and 2006, his petulant whistleblowing at McLaren and involvement in "Crashgate" would have been banged on about for years had the German maestro done them, but like Noel Gallagher wishing terminal venereal diseases on his competitors it's all been swept under the carpet.  Well liked, but a title was expected, and even with Massa's full support he couldn't get one; what odds another tantrum if Kimi gets the better of him?

LAST YEAR: 3rd (354 points)

Felipe MASSA (BRZ) - 8th (112 points, best finish: 3rd, Spain)

Poor Felipe's confidence has been in pieces since the triple threat of his life-threatening accident, the "Fernando is faster" incident (he clearly wasn't, either) and the year of Lewis Hamilton-related accidents.  He may well be better off at Williams, at least psychologically.  On the other side of the garage, Alonso's fleeting interest quickly waned as they lost pace relative to Red Bull and Mercedes.

PROSPECTS: If the driver pairing works, very good.  If not...